• Docks Bearded Reviews

The Battle Of The Butters - Introduction of the Heavy Butter

The battle of the butters sounds like an episode from Game Of Thrones, yet a new challenger enters into the war of nourishment and they go by the name of The Bald Viking. Poured, whipped, double whipped super soft, folded, night time or day time butters are all the craze at the moment however have you ever heard of something called Heavy Butter? Nope, neither had I until Callum asked me to trial his new product which he swore me to silence, ensuring his secret weapon was perfect before its launch. With the product going live on the 14th July 2021, I'm officially allowed to drop an exclusive pre-launch review, where I can break down what "Heavy Butter" actually is and why it could be labelled the new "Warlord Of Butters"

What's The Concept Of A Butter?

The idea behind a beard butter is for total nourishment and to basically act as a conditioner to help soften your beard hairs. Oils do a fantastic job at hydrating the skin, balms are for styling and butter can give you a little bit of both depending on the consistency of the product however nourishment and softening the beard hairs is the main goal. Most butters are used during the night however this doesn't mean that they should be exclusively for your evening slumber especially if the product you're choosing can provide an element of style.

Should You Invest In Heavy Butter?

100% YES!!! This Viking butter is a product which makes its own pedestal and places itself on top like an unordain Jarl. A product which is consistent with the THICC oils produced by The Bald Viking (Review Here) the heavy butter carves out a niche which is exclusive to those who crave nourishment longevity but brings an element which I personally feel is unique. I'm classifying it as a lazy, working man's beard butter because its designed for someone who will be touching their beard, working with their hands and possibly getting into the nitty gritty, still wants to look good however lacks the drive to highly define, straighten and shape his beard every morning. A phrase which I have never used for a butter but the product can almost be classified as a hybrid however to understand why, then I need to break it down first.

What Makes Heavy Butter?

First thing we look at is the actual ingredients and for such a unique feeling product, the ingredients are pretty simplistic. Consisting of Castor and Sweet Almond which are the only two ingredients for the oil, they act as fantastic ingredients which offer longer lasting nourishment however add in Hemp Seed oil which is massively underrated to create a carrier blend which has a faster absorbing oil for a better overall balance. Creating the butter consists of only two ingredients, which are Mango and Shea butter. No beeswax in this mixture which will please any individuals elitist who oppress butters containing beeswax. Both ingredients are amazingly rich in nutrients, providing softness to dry hairs, helping reduce splitting and overall smoothness yet I personally think the most important thing is both ingredients are non comedogenic, which means they won't clog your pores. This is essential when it comes to beard products as clogged pores stop and restrict hair follicle growth, which long term could result in your beard looking worse than a failed Beard Struggle ambassador.

What Makes Heavy Butter Good?

This hybrid style product had taken elements of greatness from different brands / products and combined them to create possibly the best overall all-rounder. The heavy butter is far from its name and when you removing it from the tin it comes out almost in chunks due to the density and compaction of the contents which is not to dissimilar than a marshmallow as its soft and squishy. To break the product down is an almost instantaneous process with a few runs needed to disintegrated the product from a solid into a residue within your hands. It creates an almost tacky feeling where you can fell the butters still gripping, and strangely resonates similarities towards a hair product as its soft but still has substance. Applying it into your beard and it's no different than a normal soft beard butter as runs off your hands and into your beard like water running off a ducks back which considering it's tacky nature almost defies everything I'm used to. This is where heavy butter comes into its own and despite it having 0% beeswax, it actually provides more hold than most medium hold balms, to the point I could actually create a pretty well defined moustache. The key to this is as the product solidifies within your beard it begins to create hold and keeps everything in check however rub your hands back through your beard and the heat melts the product again allowing you to restyle multiple times with minimal detrimental effect. Even though heavy butter provides hold it's never a truly solid, despite its hold, you don't get that rigid stiffness feeling when your balm infused beard rubs across your chest or shoulders. Classified as a heavy butter and yes I agree that there is a minimal amount of weight which comes with usage however far less than I expected and far less than any balm or most poured butters. Longevity is key and with any The Bald Viking product you will get fantastic longevity and the Heavy Butter is no different. 6am application yet 5pm the following day my beard still hadn't hit any dryness and this was with no top ups. Yes the product had peaked but I could still semi style my beard, its still felt soft, there was no itch and I felt good overall. It's absolutely astonishing that a butter can provide you with 24+ hours nourishment and style application without the a massive detrimental effect.


The heavy butter is turning my beard routine on its head and its a product I think everyone should be trying. I like my beard styled but I'm not keen on the stiffness created by a balm. Heavy Butter gives me the nourishment of a butter but also the style of a medium hold balm which allows me to go through normal everyday life looking good and without the constant issue of a droopy moustache or out of shape beard which looks terrible. If you want ultra defined then a balm and moustache wax is the only way forward however if your want great controlled beard management, nourishment and longevity then this is an absolute no brainer. I'm not a morning person and I'm rarely in the house longer than 30min after I have dragged myself out of bed. Allowing me to have a great amount of reworkable style, nourishment and softness throughout the day takes my lazy ass beard game to the next level as my "working day" beard is often not Instagram friendly. A product which in my opinion is in a league completely of its own and almost untouched by any competitors. If you want super soft, whipped then go elsewhere as The Bald Viking has no intention of joining the battle of who's product is the softest, most whipped or simply what owner thinks they have the biggest metaphorical dick. To put it simply, this Viking is invading the UK beard butter market with a product completely unique, loyal customers won't know what will hit them and The Bald Viking will have every opportunity to rampage through as possibly the best beard butter on the UK market.

If You Want To Purchase Anything From The Bald Viking Please Click Here

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